Viking in Love
Avon Books
February 2010
ISBN 978-0061673498
All Lord Caedmon of Larkspur wants, after nine long
months in the king's service, is a bit of peace...not five bothersome
Viking princesses who invade his keep, especially not the fiery redhead,
Breanne. He has half a mind to kick her tempting arse out the door...but
wait...he has a much more wickedly delightful plan for this thorn in
his...um, side.
Princess Breanne of Stoneheim is shocked at Larkspur's
rundown condition with servants and children running wild whilst Caedmon
lies abed after a night of mead and, no doubt, wanton bedsport. Breanne
must endure the loathsome lout to protect her four sisters. She can
hardly imagine what this knight will demand of her in return.
Reviews on the Way!
CHAPTER ONE
(Northumbria, 965 A.D.)
Oh Lord, from the fury of the Norsemen...uh, Norsewomen,
deliver us...
"Is he dead yet?"
Breanne asked the question before glancing around the earl's
bedchamber at her four sisters, all of them daughters of
King Thorvald of Stoneheim in the Norselands. As usual,
each had an opinion and did not mind speaking over each other.
"For the love of Thor! How would I know?"
"We will ne'er find husbands if we keep killing men."
"This is the first one we have killed, you lackbrain."
"Well, how was I to know that? The rest of you
performed the task with ease."
"The rest of us? Hah! We are all responsible
for this...
this happenstance."
"Happenstance?"
"Oh, gods! We will all hang."
"Or be drawn and quartered."
"Or have our heads lopped off."
"I for one do not feel guilty. Not one bit. He
was a beast."
"What is that green substance coming out of his nose?"
"Snot, you halfwit."
"Oh. Are you sure? Methinks it might be
his brain oozing out."
"Yeech!"
"Brains do not ooze. Do they?"
"Something stinks. Dost think he soiled his
braies?"
"For a certainty. Ooooh, look. I have
ne'er seen so much blood."
"Tsk, tsk! Do you not know that head wounds always
bleed profusely."
"Then mayhap he is still alive. Someone should
check to make sure."
"Uh-uh! I get a rash around dead people."
"I am not going to touch him."
"Me neither!"
"The very thought makes me bilious."
"I would not know a dead body from a salted lutefisk."
Much nervous laughter erupted.
Momentarily silent, they all stared down at the body of
Oswald, earl of Havenshire. Except for one of her sisters
who was huddled in a chair in the far corner, whimpering
as she held a possibly broken arm against her chest. Ofttimes
referred to as Vana the White because of her Icelandic white-blonde
hair, she had more than earned that title today with her
fair, deadly white skin contrasted against a blackened eye
and a cracked lip seeping blood. The finger marks about
her neck, old and new, resembled a black and blue and yellow
torque. Vana was the wife of the late Oswald...late
as in five minutes ago.
Breanne's back went rigid with anger. Truly, she would
gladly kill the brute all over again for what he had done
to her gentle sister. She could only imagine what a
nightmare Vana's one-year marriage had been. If only
they had left the Norselands earlier to visit her in her
Saxon home!
There was a light knock on the door.
Everyone stiffened with alarm.
They must needs dispose of the body, but Breanne had no
idea how they could manage the feat in a keep filled with
housecarls and servants, all loyal to the beastly nobleman. Now
it was too late.
Breanne stood and motioned for Vana to step forth. Despite
her condition, Vana would have to answer. Limping toward
her, Vana stood bravely and faced the closed door. "Who
is it?"
"Rashid. Let me in."
Five sets of shoulders sagged with relief. Rashid
was the assistant to Adam the Healer, a physician, her sister
Tyra's husband. With a snort of disgust, Tyra--who
was extremely tall for a woman and very strong, having once
been a warrior--jerked the door open, grabbed Rashid by the
arm, and yanked him inside, shutting the door behind them.
Breanne had the good sense to lock it after them.
"What are you doing here? Following me?" demanded
Tyra, hands on hips.
"Allah be praised, it is good to see you, too, Tyra."
Rashid spoke in heavily accented English, though he still,
after all these years, wore the traditional Arab garb of
hooded robe with rope belt, over Saxon tunic and braies. "Your
husband asked me to follow and see what you were up to...I
mean, to offer you protection in the event of..." He
slapped a hand over his heart as he noticed the nobly clad
body lying in a pool of blood on the stone-flagged floor. "For
the love of a camel! What have you done?"
"When we arrived for a visit, unannounced, we found
the spineless lout beating our sister with his fists and
a whip," Tyra explained. "When I broke his
whip, he came at me with a knife, which I turned on him."
They all glanced at the knife, which still protruded from
his belly.
Some of her sisters began to weep.
Oh, good gods! Not the tears again! Breanne
stepped between Tyra and Rashid. "It wasn't just
Tyra. We all played a part. I for one hit him
over the head with a poker when Tyra's knife thrust did not
immediately fell him."
"And I kicked him when he was down," Ingrith said
on a sniffle, her blue eyes sparkling with fury. So
hard was she shaking her head that strands of golden blonde
hair were coming loose from her long braids.
"I kicked him, too. In the head. Just
to make sure he was bloody well dead." Drifa paused. "Is
he dead?"
Rashid went down on one knee and put his fingertips to a
certain spot on the earl's neck. "Dead as a fly
on a cobra's tongue."
Rashid always had a way with words, especially proverbs,
one of which he spouted now as he stood to his full height,
wiping his hand on his robe with distaste. "Death
is a black camel that lies down at every door. Sooner
or later every man must ride the camel. Like yon earl."
"We are in big trouble since we brought that camel. Oswald
is a member of the king's Witan. He has friends in
high places," Breanne disclosed.
"But you had just cause," Rashid said. "They
only have to look at Lady Vana's battered body to understand
how this came about."
"That does not signify." Vana surprised
everyone by speaking up, and with such vehemence. "Dost
think they care? His housecarls and servants, friends
and foe, all knew good and well how Oswald's temper could
be set off at the least thing. He blamed me for not
yet breeding him a son, but any excuse would do for his fist
or whip. A missing comb. A broken bowl. My
monthly courses."
"Still," Rashid argued, "there are laws."
All the women shook their heads. The wergild for a
woman was ofttimes barely higher than a cow, and less than
a horse.
"Well, then, we must make haste to hide the body," Rashid
said, lifting his hands with resignation.
Finally, someone is using their head for thinking and
not leaking tears.
"How are we going to hide the body? And where?" Ingrith
asked, wringing her hands. And weeping.
"'Tis impossible," Drifa said. "We
are doomed." More tears.
"The difficult is done at once, but the impossible
merely takes a little longer."
"Are you saying we can cover up this...accident?" Tyra
looked imploringly at her husband's good friend.
"Do not stand in the midst of rain and ask Allah for
a hat. Allah helps those who help themselves."
Her sisters looked toward Breanne.
Even though Tyra was the oldest, her sisters always expected
Breanne to lead. "'Tis agreed...we need a plan. Rashid,
pull off one of those bed drapes so we can wrap the body. Ingrith,
take some linens out of the chest and mob up the blood. Drifa,
get the pitcher and bowl of water and try to remove the stain
on the floor."
In the meantime, Breanne opened the door carefully to check
on any guards who might be passing in the hall. There
were none. It was late evening, long past dinner. Sounds
of laughter could be heard coming from the great hall where
the men were no doubt downing cups of ale and tupping every
maid they could get their slimy hands on, willing or not. They
probably thought Oswald was up here in his bedchamber doing
the same. For all they knew, Vana's sisters, come to
visit, had been led to separate bedchambers on another level
and would greet their sister for the first time in the morn.
"Mayhap we could put Oswald's body in the chest," Ingrith
suggested.
"He's too big," Vana said, her upper lip curling
with distaste, no doubt having suffered for his bigness way
too many times.
Ingrith had a better idea. "We can scrunch him
in."
"Scrunch? A body cannot be folded like a blanket. Can
it?" Drifa pursed her lips in puzzlement. "Oh! Mayhap
it gets scrunchy when dead."
Breanne rolled her eyes. "Assuming we could
fit the body in the chest, where could we hide it that would
never be found?"
"We could burn the chest," Ingrith suggested.
Breanne shook her head. "The fire would attract
too much attention. And it would smell...I think."
"The river?" Drifa offered.
Again Breanne shook her head. "Bodies tend to
rise to the top eventually, no matter how weighted down."
"I have an idea," Vana said brightly. You
had to give the girl credit for being able to smile. "Bottom
of the privy."
They all chuckled.
"How appropriate! Oswald always was a piece
of...." Ingrith, ever the earthy one, guffawed
at her own jest.
"No, you missay me, sisters," Vana said. "There
is a new garderobe just now being built on the back side
of the castle. The hole has been dug and loose stones
are being laid down."
"Aaaah! We throw Oswald's body in the hole, then
toss loose stones on top." Breanne had to admit
the idea had merit.
"No one will go down in that cess pit, even in the
beginning...um, dry state," Vana elaborated. "'Tis
far too deep."
"So, the privy, it is." Breanne looked to
the others for agreement. "What will we say when
Oswald's men ask for him or his whereabouts?"
Rashid glanced toward Tyra, stroking his mustache thoughtfully. "Tyra,
you are much the size of Oswald. Mayhap we could dress
you in his clothing."
"With the fur-lined, cowled cape he favored," Vana
added. "And using the back stairway through the
scullery."
"Somehow you must be able to saddle a horse and ride
away from the castle, with the guardsmen seeing you but not
being able to identify you as any other than their lord," Rashid
said.
"Agreed," Tyra said, "but someone needs to
distract the stable hand on duty."
"I can do that," Drifa offered. Half Arab/half
Viking, Drifa was a petite, beautiful, well-formed woman
with raven hair and slanted eyes who attracted men easily.
"The sentries will not be suspicious at Oswald leaving
the castle so late. He has a mistress in Whitby. Ofttimes
he goes to visit her and stays overnight. Or longer
when he is especially lustsome." Vana did not
appear the least disgusted imparting that news since his
mistress had spared her some of his vile attentions.
"But the day after tomorrow, his riderless horse will
make its way back to Havenshire, and the first clue will
be planted that he is gone. Perchance killed by villains
out to rob peaceful wayfarers." Breanne thought
for a moment. "It just might work, as long as
we all stay here to support Vana and act suitably horrified
and grieving. We must not panic when someone asks,
`Where is the earl?'. Nothing to garner suspicion."
"How will we get the chest to the cesspit?" Drifa
wanted to know.
"The two guardsmen Father sent with us are down in the great hall exchanging
glares with Oswald's men. They are up to the task, if they have not
imbibed too much ale," Ingrith pointed out. "If one more Havenshire
clodpole refers to Norsemen as lacking in battle skills, we will have a war
on our hands."
Hmmm. That would provide a distraction. "Nay! Our
men cannot be involved," Breanne asserted. "The
less people who know about this deed the better."
"No matter!" Rashid said. "Ingrith,
you stand guard in the scullery. Drifa, up to the ramparts
where you will distract the sentries. I, along with
Tyra and Breanne will carry the chest down the back stairs,
through the scullery, to the outside privy." Rashid
raised his eyebrows at each of them in turn.
He made it sound so easy. Breanne knew it would not
be.
Still, they all nodded.
Silence permeated the room then as they contemplated the
formidable, almost impossible, task ahead of them.
Why do my sisters and I always manage to land in the
most ungodly trouble?
"Mayhap we should pray?" Vana suggested in a small
voice.
"To which god?" Ingrith snorted.
It was a good question. Many Vikings practiced both
the Christian and Norse religions, and then there was Rashid's
Moslem heritage. They all bowed their heads for a moment.
"Prayer is well and good," Rashid said then. "Even
so, trust in Allah, but ride a fast camel."
Camels again!
All Breanne could do was give a mental shout, which was
more like a squeak, HELP!
And then they all said, as one, "Goodbye Earl."
*****
CHAPTER TWO
Home, home on the range...uh, motte...
He was almost home.
After nine long months in the king's bloody service, which
was supposed to have been only six sennights, Caedmon could
almost see Larkspur in the distance through the morning mist. His
hauberk creaked as he rose in the saddle, but they were still
too far away to get a clear view over the rise.
Two of his fellow knights, landless nobles who had chosen
to remain in his troop, rode beside him. Behind him
followed four dozen hirdsmen and various others that served
a warrior's needs...armorers, blacksmiths, cooks, and stable
hands leading ten war horses. The great destriers,
worth their weight in gold, including his own Fury, were
a fighting man's best friend in battle but too high strung
for regular riding. There were even several women
who had attached themselves to some of his men.
"By the rood! You reek, Caedmon," Geoffrey,
his best friend and chief hirdsman, said, clapping him on
the shoulder.
"Well I know it. I had to nigh hold my nose when
I slept yestereve." He glanced over to his right
at the blond-haired, lean-limbed knight who was too pretty
by half. Women were known to swoon over his handsome
looks, a bounty he took full advantage of, without apology.
"You are a bit aromatic yourself." This
from Wulfgar on his left who craned his neck to see around
Caedmon. As fair as Geoff was, Wulf was the opposite. A
giant with black hair, dark eyes and a gruesome scar running
from forehead to mustache and bearded chin, causing his upper
lip to lift slightly. Still, women favored him, too.
And, truth be told, Caedmon attracted his fair share of
women. He had no complaints.
"All of our garments will no doubt fall off our bodies
in rot once we remove our armor," Caedmon remarked.
"I cannot remember the last time I bathed. Mayhap
it was last month in Wessex. Or was it the month before
in Norsemandy?" Geoff grinned at him, his white teeth
stark against his stained leather helmet with nose piece
and eye guard. "Methinks my brynja will
leave half circle marks all over my body. The women
will love it. Like the tattoos those Scots warriors
favor."
"You are a lackwit," Wulf proclaimed.
"There are three things I will order once we arrive
at Larkspur," Caedmon informed them on a long sigh. "A
tun of cool mead. A warm bath. And a hot..."
"...wench," Geoff finished for him.
"Amen," he and Wulf agreed with a laugh.
Those men riding close behind them, who overheard, laughed,
too.
Caedmon shook his head with mock dismay. "Actually,
I was going to say hot fire to warm my weary bones. Then,
I would like to sleep for a sennight in a bed with clean
linens and a soft pillow."
"KAD-mon!" Geoff exaggerated the pronunciation
of his name, as he was wont to do when making jest of him. "Forget
sleep. Me, I prefer mead, bath, and a good tup. A
pillow is not where I intend to rest my head tonight."
Caedmon had already sent riders ahead with just such orders.
Well, not about the women. He would never order women
to open their thighs to a man, not even a thrall, especially
having been in the company of their King Edgar and his sordid
proclivities these many months.
It had been bad enough when Edgar and his closest guard
had stormed a convent at Wilton Abbey, and Edgar had taken
captive one of the nuns, Wulfhryth, her screams heard throughout
the camp that night and many nights thereafter. No
matter that Wulfhryth was of noble birth or that she later
gave birth to a daughter Eadygth. No matter that Edgar
was married to Eneda, "the white duck." Edgar
just went on his merry wicked way. And Edgar had allowed
those of his men so inclined to make sport with the other
nuns.
The last straw had come when Edgar put a javelin through
his half-brother Aethelwold's back for want of his beauteous
wife. That was when Caedmon and his hirdsmen had decided
to part with the royal company and head for home. If
Edgar did not like it, then so be it! Thus far there
had been no repercussions, but then Edgar was probably having
to deal with the rage of Dunstan, Archbishop of Canterbury,
who was sure to levy a huge penance on the king's overzealous
cock. Then again, mayhap not. The only penance
he had levied for Edgar's rape and impregnation of the nun
was that he could not wear his crown for seven years. It
was probably too heavy for his little head, anyway.
"Well, my castle is still standing," Caedmon said
as the mist began to part and they could see Larkspur in
the distance. A pretty name for an austere fortress. Calling
it a castle was an overstatement, but that is what his childless
Uncle Richard had named Larkspur before passing it on to
Caedmon on his death ten years ago.
It was a stone and timber garrison built in a motte and
bailey fashion. Sitting atop a high, natural, flat-topped
mound or motte of great size and height, the castle itself
was surrounded by double walls of palisades and ramparts,
as was the vast bailey on the ground level with one wide
gate in front, opening onto a drawbridge. A majestic
wooden tower atop the keep stood watch over the land in four
directions. At the bottom of the motte and still within
the bailey were the exercise fields set off by a neat hedgerows,
castle gardens, and outbuildings...
stables, blacksmith's forge, weaving, leatherwork and milk
sheds, bakehouse, brewery, cow byre, pig pens, chicken coops,
and sleeping quarters for his guardsmen who chose not to
reside within the castle. The outer palisades were
surrounded by a moat.
Beyond that were the cotters' huts and fields of oats and
barley. Inside, the bailey had enough room for all
the villagers to gather in the event of an attack, not uncommon
here in the wilds of Northumbria where brigands abounded,
or Scotsmen came raiding from the North. Just past
the village was a peat-infused river, only twenty paces wide,
fed from the Cheviot hills run-off, wending its way toward
the North Sea, a mere trickle of a burn, or creek, in dry,
high summer but a torrent after a storm.
Northumbria, so called lands north of the Humber, was a
land unto itself. To the southern Brits, the mixed
breeds of British, Anglian and Norse, with a bit of Scot
thrown in, appeared wild, uncouth, hard-drinking, and annoyingly
independant of spirit. This high country was just too
bleak...and dangerous, wedged in as it was by the English
kingdoms in the south, and the Scots, Cumbrians and Strathclyde
Welsh to the north and northwest. They saw only endless
moors, like a wilderness of sorts, and the occasional hills
and fertile dales. And remains of the ancient Roman
walls.
Caedmon, on the other hand, saw beauty in its clean air
and icy streams. The sweetness of wild flowers and
new grass being crushed by their horses was like the finest
perfume from the eastern lands. To him, leastways. In
a few short months, vast distances would be covered with
purple heather.
For many years, Caedmon had been a landless knight, like
his two close comrades, and he knew too well how blessed
he had been to inherit his uncle's estate. He would
do everything in his power to keep it for himself and his
heirs. Even if it meant service to his depraved king.
A tangled mess awaited him at Larkspur after his lengthy
absence, but Caedmon felt peaceful here in his homeland. And
lonely. But it was a good loneliness. One he
cherished. He smiled to himself at that ill-logic. A
cherished loneliness! He must be going barmy.
"Leaving Henry as castellan was apparently a good decision,
despite his advancing age," Geoff observed, interrupting
his reverie.
Caedmon nodded. "Yea, reports are that the keep
itself is in turmoil, but the troops are in good order, having
suffered only a few minor attacks within the estate boundaries."
"Turmoil?" Wulf arched his brows...he had
removed his helmet and his hair stood out in unruly spikes.
"It appears the children are running wild. Amicia
is refusing to serve food in the great hall where the dogs
have made a mire of the rushes. A chamber maid was
caught in bed with two men. Some of the housecarls
have taken to sword play in the solar. Father Luke
has locked himself in the chapel and refuses to come out,
not even to say Mass. A loose goat ate all the herbs
in the kitchen garden. Other than that, everything
is normal."
There was a momentary silence before one of the men behind
him yelled out, "What was the name of that chamber wench?"
Both Wulf and Geoff grinned at him, and Caedmon could hear
more chuckling behind him.
"Is Father Luke that halfbrained fanatic who is always
mumbling about fornication and the fires of hell?" Geoff
asked.
"He said I was a dreadful sinner. Can you imagine?" Caedmon
made a moue of innocence.
"And is he not older than Adam's rib?" Wulf added.
Caedmon had to laugh. "Yea, Father Luke has
passed more than eighty winters, I would guess, and he was
halfbrained afore he came to us. Think on it, what
priest worth his salt would want to preside over the souls
of such a small keep in the northern wilds, inhabited by "sinful
soldiers," as he ofttimes called us?"
"All your bratlings did not help any," Geoff noted.
"You have heard about the wagers, have you not?" Wulf
inquired.
By his teasing tone, Caedmon decided he did not want to
know.
But that did not stop Wulf.
"We are wagering on how many children you will have
by now."
"Pfff! There were ten last time I counted, but
God only knows how many are really mine. And, yea,
I am certain there will be more by now." Caedmon
had wed and buried two wives, leaving behind three legitimate
children, the nine-year-old Beth and six-year-old twins Alfred
and Aidan, but he had also had his fair share of unfortunately
fertile mistresses and bedmates over the years. He
was, after all, thirty and four. He grinned then. "Can
I help it if I am a virile man?" And dumb as
dirt when it comes to keeping my cock in my breeches.
"Methinks your virility is going to come back and bite
you in the arse one of these days," Geoff said.
It already has, and that is why I gird myself with resolve.
I will ne'er marry again, I vow, and I will exercise caution
in the bed furs. God willing.
He could swear he heard laughter in his head. It was
probably God.
"When I was in Baghdad, I heard about a method for
preventing a man's seed from taking root in a woman's womb," Geoff
said of a sudden.
All ears perked up at that announcement.
When he just grinned at them, Caedmon prodded, "Well,
do not stop now, lackwit."
"You take a small, thick-skinned apple. Cut it
in half, and pare out most of the pulp. Then you insert
it into a woman's channel, far up, like a tiny cup. And
that prevents a man's seed from entering her womb." Geoff
preened as if he had just gifted them the secret to turning
grass to gold. "It is supposed to be done with
lemons, but since we have none here I am sure apples would
suffice."
There was a lengthy silence as the men digested what he had
said, turning it over in their minds. One never knew
when Geoff was jesting or not, although he did know a lot
about the bed arts, or so he often told them.
"I would like to meet the woman who would allow you
to do that," Caedmon finally scoffed. Really,
I would.
Geoff smirked, as if he knew a few.
"And how in bloody hell would you get it out?" Wulf
wanted to know.
Geoff fluttered his fingertips at Wulf as if that were an
insignificant matter.
"The woman would be pissing apple juice for a sennight," Wulf
remarked. "And dropping apple seeds hither and
yon."
"We have all been in the saddle too long. Our
brains are melting," Caedmon concluded. But
I wager there will be apples aplenty missing from the larder
this night.
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